


The Homecoming Incident

by hufflepirate



Series: Gordonfam AU [2]
Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Accidental Teenage Girl Acquisition, Dancing, Family, Fluff, Football Games, Found Family, Gen, Homecoming, Homecoming Dance, Limousines, Pickpockets, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Slow Dancing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-13
Updated: 2018-05-19
Packaged: 2019-05-06 07:18:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14636823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hufflepirate/pseuds/hufflepirate
Summary: Gordonfam AU (Jim and Lee adopted Selina, Ivy, and Bridgit)After Selina gets caught breaking into their rival school with her sisters and Bruce, Jim makes them all go to the homecoming game and dance as a punishment for breaking the rules. Selina's not happy about it, but with a little plotting and counter-plotting, they might all have a good time anyway.





	1. The Station

**Author's Note:**

> Note: This is the OG Ivy. Back-at-the-beginning Ivy. I'm like 6-7 mo behind on the show, so I haven't even met the third Ivy. Also everyone is happy and nothing hurts.

Jim was almost ready to pack it in after a long day when he heard a familiar voice half shouting at the front of the room.

"You stupid or something? I told you, we need to talk to _Jim Gordon_. G-o-r-d-o-n! He's over there in homicide. I _know_ you've heard of him."

Jim was on his feet before Bullock could start giving him grief over his delinquent kids, but his partner followed him anyway. "Always good to see your lovely family." Jim grunted in response, ignoring him.

Selina was strutting forward like her usual calm, brash self, in spite of the fact that her arms were handcuffed behind her back. The rookie beat cop holding her had a tight enough grip on her upper arm to suggest she'd tried to wiggle out of it at least a few times, and Jim was mostly just surprised she hadn't succeeded yet.

Behind Selina, Ivy was thrashing violently between two more cops, making little strangled growling noises as they dragged her across the floor, and Bridgit and Bruce Wayne were letting the fourth cop shepherd them gently into the building with one hand on each of their shoulders.

Great. The only thing better than all three of his kids getting dragged into the police station in cuffs was all three of his kids _and Bruce Wayne_ getting dragged into the police station in cuffs.

Bridgit and Bruce were cuffed in the front and probably hadn't made any trouble, but Ivy and Selina were cuffed behind their backs and everything about them both still _screamed_ trouble. He could tell without looking around that everyone was keeping at least one eye on the chaos.

"See, I _told_ you!" Selina announced, "He's coming over! You just wait."

"Selina-" he began sternly, as soon as he was in hearing range.

"Hi, Dad!" she said cheerfully.

"Aww, she calls you Dad now," Harvey said sardonically, "Ain't that sweet?"

He couldn't correct him without letting on to everyone in the room that Selina was playing her usual mind games, so he didn't, ignoring her for the moment and pretending it didn't sting that she still only referred to him as her father when she wanted something.

"What are they in for, officers?"

Officer Williams spoke up from behind Bruce and Bridgit. "We caught them breaking into the gym at City High."

"Uh-huh?"

"Yeah, we're pretty sure they were trying to steal the mascot's tiger suit."

He almost laughed. That couldn't be right.

"So what if we _were_!" Selina spat angrily, "It's not like we actually _took_ it. This is police harassment!"

"Yeah!" Ivy seconded, "Let us go!" She had stilled a little as Jim walked up, but renewed her thrashing as soon as Selina mentioned harassment. She must have thought she had a shot at escape, now. He wanted to reach out to calm her down, but when she was in a bad place, that sometimes backfired and he couldn't afford to make things worse. One of her sisters could calm her down if he could just get her away from the other officers for a little bit. And if Harvey stayed far enough away.

He wasn't sure he was ready to believe his trio of barely-lovable teenage delinquents were just playing a prank. It would be more in character for them to have tried to burn the school down or steal a smartboard or make plant food out of dangerous chemicals locked up in the science wing. But he had to get to the truth, and he had to get them away from here before Ivy really lost it. She wasn't good with cops.

"Bridgit?" Jim asked, softening his tone for the first time since they'd walked in. She glanced up just as he raised an eyebrow at her, and her hands darted sideways toward her pocket almost instinctively. She probably had her lighter in her pocket, which made the breach of handcuff protocol suddenly feel much more serious. He shook his head slightly, hoping no one else caught the gesture.

She looked down again, moving her hands away from her pocket and staring at a spot on the floor just to the side of his feet. "We just thought - the big rivalry game's coming up," she answered softly. "We weren't gonna do anything bad with it, honest. Just maybe put it up on the roof at school, where everybody could see it."

"I see," he said slowly, thinking it through. Either they were lying or they actually _had_ gotten caught in the middle of a little innocent teenage mischief. But Bridgit rarely lied and Selina had as good as admitted that was what they were up to.

"We're really sorry, Detective Gordon," Bruce said, stepping forward to make his usual strong eye contact and sounding perfectly confident, "It was a silly thing to do."

That was it, then. It was true. He forced his face to stay calm, hiding the smile that threatened to burst out. They had _actually been playing a prank_. Not stealing anything they meant to keep, not meeting with fences, not burning things down, not trying to kill people, not chatting with serious hardened criminals. _Pranking another school_. He'd never been prouder, but he couldn't exactly let that show while they were still standing there with four grumpy-looking unis.

"Yes," he answered, keeping his voice light but measured, "It was."

Then, face steady, he turned to the officers holding Ivy. "I'll take care of it from here. You can let go."

Ivy thrashed again and the officers looked at him warily. "Bridgit?" he said softly.

She stepped away from Officer Williams and reached out to grab Ivy's forearm. "It's ok." Her eyes flicked dramatically downward toward her pocket and Ivy caught it, relaxing a little as she realized what Bridgit meant by the gesture.

"It'll be fine," he told the officers, "Ivy's just-" He stopped, not quite sure how to put into words what Ivy was. Ivy was good, probably, underneath it all, and that was what counted, at least to him and Lee. At least for now. "I'll take her from here," he said, "I promise."

The cops released Ivy's arms and she leaned into Bridgit. Bridgit twisted her hips just a little so that Ivy couldn't reach for the lighter in her pocket, meeting Jim's eyes for a moment so he'd know she was being careful. Good. The last thing he needed was for one of them to light the station on fire after he'd said he could handle things. Even after more than a year, things were touch and go with the girls sometimes. Lee said it was trauma, but sometimes he thought it was just plain old teenage stubbornness.

The rookie still had a death grip on Selina's arm, but now that it was clear her non-father was in control of the situation instead of the cops that had brought her in, Selina broke loose, leaning sharply into the rookie's grip and then ripping out of it the other way. Jim held a hand up to stop the officer from grabbing her again and almost regretted it when she turned her best smirk on the man, looking like the cat that ate the canary.

"Selina," he said warningly.

She turned away from the other cop, widening her eyes to look innocent and shrugging her shoulders up at him to emphasize the fact that her hands were still trapped behind her back. "So, you gonna let us out of the cuffs now or what?"

"I don't know," he said, not quite managing to keep the amusement out of his voice, "You _were_ breaking and entering."

Selina's outrage was at least half faked as she insisted that they hadn't _broken_ anything, but Ivy's distressed noise sounded genuine, and he caved, stepping toward her.

"It's ok, Ivy. I was just talking to Selina. Let's get you out of those." He released her and pointed over at a row of chairs in front of the lockup. "Once your cuffs are off, you can all wait over there, while I call Alfred to come get Bruce."

"Detective Gordon I-"

" _You_ are not walking home by yourself. And you're not leaving here without your legal guardian. He has to sign your paperwork."

"You're doing the _paperwork_?" Selina squawked, turning as he stepped toward her so that he could reach her hands better. "What is the _point_ of getting us off if you're still gonna do the paperwork? I thought the whole thing with cops was sweeping stuff under the rug."

"You're thinking of the last time you cleaned the bathroom," he joked, releasing the cuffs. "I _know_ you left toenails under the bathmat. And you're lucky I'm not making you stay _here_ tonight. I was only _joking_ about Ivy."

She pouted, but she wasn't moving like she intended to make a break for it, so he let her pout. He suspected she knew he didn't really mean that last part, anyway. He wasn't opposed to the idea of leaving her in lockup overnight, in principle, but he wasn't going to do it for this. Not when he was still more proud of her than he was disappointed.

Bridgit looked relieved when he took the cuffs off her wrists, but less relieved when he didn't let go of her wrist right away. He kept ahold of her for an extra moment, leaning over to whisper in her ear. "I thought we talked about the lighter. Don't let them know you have it." She blushed, and he brushed a kiss against her temple to camouflage the conversation. "There. Done," he declared, releasing her wrist.

"Da-ad!" she chided, dancing away from him. She was grinning, a rare moment of levity breaking through her usual anxiety like it often did when he let himself express open affection toward her. When she called him Dad, she always meant it.

As he uncuffed Bruce, the boy watched him calmly, his eyes looking a little worried in spite of the calm in the rest of his face. Jim allowed himself a small smile, clapping the boy on the shoulder. "It's alright Bruce. Go sit next to the girls." He didn't expect Alfred to be too upset about this one. It was too much of a relief to both of them when their kids were acting like _kids_.

He borrowed the phone at the nearest empty desk, unwilling to leave the teenagers unattended long enough to go back to his own. When prompted, Bruce recited his phone number off almost mechanically, rubbing absentmindedly at his wrists. He didn't seem happy, but he didn't have to be. Small, innocent trouble was still trouble, and all four of the kids were in it.

Selina got up and switched chairs to sit by Bruce, leaning casually into his side with her feet sprawled out into the aisle in front of her. Bruce didn't seem to mind, and Ivy was snuggled too firmly up against Bridgit to notice Selina wasn't sitting next to her anymore. Jim left them alone, listening to the phone ringing on the other end.

Alfred picked up on the second ring. "Hello, Wayne residence."

"Hi, Alfred, it's Jim. I've got Bruce with me down at the station."

Selina rolled her head sideways to rest it on Bruce's shoulder and muttered something Jim couldn't quite hear. Bruce snorted like it was funny, but still seemed focused on him and the phone.

"I see," Alfred answered, "And is Master Bruce at the station, or is he _at the station_?"

"He and the girls broke into one of the high schools to steal their mascot. We can talk about it when you get here."

"Ah," Alfred answered lightly, "So it's like that, is it? I won't put the kettle on, then."

Jim couldn't stop himself from smiling at that one. Alfred's careful placidity was always impressive, right up until the genuinely terrifying moment when it snapped. "Probably wise," he answered, "I think the girls and I will be headed straight home." He looked at them as he said it, pronouncing all the words very clearly so they couldn't miss it.

The girls glanced over at each other, eyes widening a little as if they had only just realized that they might actually be in trouble. He fought back another smile.

"Well," Alfred said on the other end, "I appreciate you waiting on me and Master Bruce, Detective. I'll see you in a few minutes."

"We'll be here."

His next phone call was to Lee, and it was much harder to pull off with a straight face than the other one. When he told her what the girls had been up to, she laughed, clearly relieved it had been so innocent, and he had to turn his back on the teenagers for a second to cover his grin. He kept the phone call short and to the point, and when she realized the girls could hear him, she told him they'd talk for real later and hung up.

By the time Alfred got there, he'd gotten most of the details out of Selina, who was always a sucker for bragging over a good plan. They really _hadn't_ broken anything on their way into the school, though he'd still have to take Selina up to the school tomorrow morning to set one thing right.

Alfred barreled in, scowling, and Jim was impressed by how convincingly angry he looked. "Oi!" he snapped at Bruce, "What exactly did you think you were up to?"

"Alfred, I-"

"D'ya know what, Master Bruce, I don't think I even _want_ to know. Detective Gordon, what's he in for?"

Bruce shut up again, his mouth snapping quickly shut, and Jim half-wondered if the boy had figured out it was all for show. But either way, he wasn't about to ruin Alfred's play. "They were caught breaking and entering, Alfred," he answered seriously, "Why don't you come up to my desk and we'll discuss it."

"Of course, Detective."

Going up the stairs meant leaving the kids to their own devices for a little longer than was strictly comfortable, but it would be better to have this conversation out of earshot from the children. "Alvarez," Jim called, "Can you keep an eye on these kids for a minute?"

Alvarez grumbled too low for Jim to make the words out, but he didn't say no, so Jim took it as a yes and stepped away toward the stairs, letting his stern look ease as soon as he'd turned his back on the children. He and Alfred went up the stairs and around to his desk.

Harvey glanced up at them as they approached. "Talking over here where the kids can't hear you, huh?"

Jim sighed. "Yeah. We've gotta decide how we're actually going to punish them for this one. Because we _have_ to, but it's not like this is even _half_ as bad as most of the stuff they've pulled." Harvey took a deep breath in, and Jim waved a hand at him, cutting off whatever he was about to say. "Yeah, I know, I know, my kids are delinquents."

"Your kids are _assholes_."

"Thanks, Harvey."

"And anyway, I thought Bruce _paid_ you," Harvey added, gesturing toward Alfred, "How are you supposed to punish your _employer_?"

"Master Bruce has a strong sense of fair play. I can usually get him to "volunteer" for whatever punishment the girls got."

Harvey snorted like he didn't believe it.

Alfred took the time for one witheringly disdainful glance in Harvey's direction before he focused on Jim again. "So what _have_ they actually done? Did they do any damage to the school?"

"No," he answered, "Not from what anybody could tell. Selina talked the janitor into letting her in after everyone else was out of the school and then she left a bathroom window open and they climbed through it. I don't think she even broke the lock on the locker she broke into. She'd told the janitor she'd forgotten one of her books, so she 'had to make it look real.' She's gonna return the book in the morning."

"Her idea?"

Jim snorted. "No. Though I'm not sure why she'd want to keep it, unless it's some kind of trophy. It's a _geometry_ book."

"And did they get the mascot?"

"No. Unis got there first. Apparently a neighbor across the street from the school looked out the window at the wrong time and saw them hopping the fence."

"Well, it doesn't seem like they did any harm, then," Alfred said, "That's a nice change of pace, innit?"

"Ivy headbutted one of the cops who brought her in pretty hard. I think his chin's gonna bruise. And Selina terrorized a rookie, but I don't think he's bruised. A little scratched, maybe. Bruce and Bridgit didn't fight it once they realized what was going on."

"Well, at least some of them have some sense."

"They broke into a _school_ ," Harvey interjected.

"Shut up, Harvey," Jim answered. "The question is, what are we going to _do_ about it?"

 

* * *

 

"They've been talking for a while," Bridgit said, sounding nervous. Selina picked her head up off of Bruce's shoulder and leaned forward until she could look around him at her sisters. Ivy seemed calmer now, still plastered up against Bridgit, but with the wild look in her eyes starting to abate.

"They're probably deciding how to punish us," Bruce answered.

Selina snorted. "Yeah, right. Like Alfred's gonna punish _you_ , rich boy."

"If you guys get grounded, I'll be grounded too."

"Since when?"

"Since always! It's not fair, otherwise."

Selina snorted again. "Chump." She had to fight to keep the fondness off her face. Bruce was an idiot, but she wasn't sure he'd be as much fun to hang out with if he wasn't.

"Selina breaks out anyway," Bridgit informed him.

"And anyway, grounded's just a state of mind," Ivy added dreamily, "As long as you _feel_ grounded, you can do whatever you want."

"I'm pretty sure that's not how grounding's supposed to work," Bruce said.

"Oh, like _you'd_ know," Selina shot back.

"It's like plants," Ivy explained, "As long as their roots are in the ground, they can grow whichever way they want."

"Ivy spends a lot of time on the roof when we're grounded, even though we're not supposed to leave the apartment."

Selina stuck her tongue out at Bridgit. "Only 'cause she's afraid _you're_ gonna snitch, _snitch_!"

"I _never_ snitch!"

"Sure you don't."

"Anyway," Bruce said, cutting in, and she had to hide a smile again as he broke up the argument. "If they've been talking this long, I don't think we're just grounded. I bet they're coming up with something specific."

She snorted. "I bet they're trying to figure out how to convince us we're in trouble without punishing us at all."

Bruce raised an eyebrow. "You think?"

"Oh, sure!" she said, leaning back in her chair again and turning to look at him. "It's not like we haven't all done worse things than this before anyway."

"I haven't!" Bruce protested.

"You literally tried to _murder_ Matches Malone."

Bruce blushed, looking away. "I changed my mind."

Bruce looked a little shaky, all of a sudden, and Selina regretted bringing it up. She rearranged in her chair again, scooting over to slip her arm through his and leaning her head back against his shoulder. He was definitely a little shaky, and if her sisters weren't right there to see, she might have apologized.

"That's true," she agreed. "And anyway, I _still_ don't think they're gonna punish us. I bet we just get the big speech about how they're _very disappointed_ and we should _never do it again,_ and then when they tell us they're not gonna punish it, they'll say some kind of bullshit about how their disappointment should be enough."

"You haven't seen Alfred's disappointed face."

"I've never seen anything _but_ Alfred's disappointed face."

It was a joke, but Bruce leaned his head against hers anyway. "It's not like that, Selina. He likes you, deep down. He just thinks it's a secret."

"You stole stuff," Ivy offered, like it was helpful.

"Nah," Bruce answered, "Selina stole stuff. I only helped."

"And whose idea was that, asshole?" Selina shot back, watching lazily as Jim and Alfred started coming back toward the stairs again. She suspected Bruce wouldn't believe the insult, with her still snuggled up against him, but she wasn't sure she minded right now. She tried to look nervous as their guardians approached, but she couldn't quite manage and settled for keeping it down to a reasonable smirk.

Jim cleared his throat before he started talking, as clear an indication as any that whatever he was about to say was at least half show. She was right. She _had_ to be.

"All four of you should know that we're very disappointed in you," he said sternly. She let her smirk widen, just a little. Called it. Bruce's arm twisted as he reached for her hand, squeezing it like he was trying to tell her not to say anything. Like she'd blow it _now_!

"Your behavior was reckless and childish, and you _all_ should have known better. You're lucky you didn't make it out with the mascot suit, or the school might have wanted to press charges."

Better and better.

"But as it is, we're going to drop the breaking and entering charge, since you didn't break anything, and you'll be let off with a warning for the trespassing. Stay out of other people's schools, _especially_ after school hours."

That was the police stuff over with, and she'd known Jim would make _that_ go away before they even walked in here. Now all that remained was being right about the rest.

"Now, Alfred and I have talked it over -"

Alfred nodded when Jim glanced over at him, his face impassive and stern, and Selina would have been willing to bet money that that kind of thing really _did_ work on Bruce, at least sometimes.

"And we've decided," Jim continued, "That since you were inspired by a fit of school spirit, it would be a shame to quash that now. You'll all be going to the homecoming game and to the homecoming dance." She picked her head up. What? She _had_ to have heard him wrong.

" _But_ since you clearly can't be trusted on your own, Lee and I will be volunteering as chaperones for the dance, and Alfred will be taking you to the game. Furthermore, since you're _being punished_ , we'll expect you to come straight home from both events. No parties with the other students, no pre-dance dinners out, and no one in Bruce's limo except the four of you."

Selina was flabbergasted. That was - it was - She felt a single, barking laugh rip its way out of her throat.

Jim raised an eyebrow. "Is something funny, Selina?"

"That's an actual - you're actually -" she couldn't get the words out, but she didn't need to. There was a gleam in Jim's eye that told her he knew _exactly_ what it was.

He _knew_ no one except maybe Ivy had wanted to go to the game. He _knew_ no one but Bridgit would have been caught dead at a school dance. And he _knew_ having parents that chaperoned was pure social suicide. He was gonna make them do all that cheesy high school bullshit, and now they'd have to pretend they _liked_ it.

It helped that he'd given them an out so they didn't have to deal with everybody else's crap. No worries about all the social stuff around it that they were bad at. No pressure to find dates or go to afterparties or get invited out for pizza after the game. And since Jim and Lee would be at the dance, they could still tell the story about the break-in, if they wanted. They could still impress the other kids with their badassery and commitment, if they wanted to try to get them to like them.

Jim clearly thought they'd be enough concessions to keep her from fighting him on it right here in front of everyone, and the worst part was, he was even right.

It was completely diabolical.

"He's trying to make us like _school_ ," she hissed to her sisters, "That's worse than being _grounded_!"

"Detective Gordon," Bruce said, "I'm not allowed to go to Homecoming. I don't go to the same school."

"Ah, yes, well spotted, Master Bruce," Alfred answered, "We thought you could go with Miss Kyle, seeing as how you're already holding hands."

Bruce looked down at their hands like he was surprised and let go. She told herself she wasn't disappointed.

"Besides," Alfred added casually, "You've gone to some charity benefits together, haven't you?"

He had them there. She'd never admit it, but she'd even sort of liked some of Bruce's fancy balls. And not just the parts where she stole stuff. She glared at Alfred for bringing them up anyway, just out of principle.

"Remember, though," Jim repeated, voice going much too stern for the sparkle in his eyes. "You're in trouble, so you'll be coming _straight home_ and with _none_ of the usual social activities around the dance. Formal school events _only_. And we'll talk about the rest of it when we get home."

It was a show. Something to make it look good in case the other cops were listening. Something to make it look like they'd gotten a good old-fashioned slap on the wrist, instead of being mercilessly bludgeoned into attending school functions.

Selina groaned dramatically, to make sure it worked. Jim would be disappointed if he couldn't pull off looking like he was doing something normal. And then she wouldn't be able to talk him into letting her stay home from the dance after all. This was clearly a moment for the long game, not the short game.

Bruce picked up on it and backed her play, glaring at Alfred. "I can't _believe_ you want me to go to a dance at the _public school_."

"It builds character, Master Bruce. Something you're _apparently_ in need of."

Damn. That was cold. She could admire a comeback like that.

Bruce stood up beside her, back stiffening and chin lifting. "We shall discuss this when we get to the car, Alfred. I trust I'm free to go, Detective Gordon?"

Ooh, and a threat back! If Selina really believed either of them was serious, she'd have loved to be a fly on the wall for that argument. As it was, she needed to start planning her own argument for later.

"Alfred's signed the paperwork, so you're free to go. We'll see you on Friday night for the football game." Jim still sounded stern, emphasizing the last sentence too hard, and she realized that even he wasn't completely sure they'd be seeing Bruce. She'd have to plan for both possibilities.

"Come on, girls," Jim added, "Harvey's got the rest of my stuff covered. We're going home." And the show was over. As she and her sisters stood up to follow Jim out the door, she couldn't resist one last crack.

"Anyway," she declared, "I bet I can get _Lee_ to take us out before the dance."

"We'll see about that," Jim answered. An acceptable comeback.

Selina let herself be corralled away from Bruce and out the door with Ivy and Bridgit, but she spared a glance for Bruce as he and Alfred were splitting off and found him looking back at her with something in his eyes she couldn't read. She hoped it meant he was willing to fight this with her, but she had a sinking suspicion that it was something else entirely.


	2. The Game

Bruce followed Selina and Ivy into the bleachers, with Bridgit close behind him and Alfred looming at the back like he didn't want to let them out of his sight. There were a _ton_ of people here, and Bruce was never as comfortable being jostled after dark as he was during the day. He moved a little closer to Selina as they climbed the steps, trying not to seem too out of place.

He and Alfred had talked it out the night of the mascot incident, and since football games and school dances had nothing to do with his training, he didn't technically _have_ to do them just because Alfred said so. But then Alfred had pointed out that he'd told Jim he would take the girls to the football game and to drive them to the homecoming dance, regardless, so Bruce might as well come too.

Even seeing through that hadn't been enough to get out of it. Alfred had gotten going on the importance of having a normal social life and taking the opportunity to have experiences that would help him understand other people. He'd been almost _passionate_ about it, and when he switched tactics and mentioned that he'd been worrying about him lately, Bruce had crumbled.

He'd regretted it as soon as Selina answered the apartment door and glared at him, but it had been too late then, and it was too late now.

They kept climbing higher, Selina keeping a hand on each of Ivy's shoulders so that she could steer her back up the stairs every time she tried to go sit down. "Selina, we're not gonna be able to see!" she complained

"Of course we are. We're gonna be able to see the whole field at once."

"But what if there's an injury? We won't see _that_." Sometimes Bruce worried about Ivy.

"Nobody's gonna get hurt," Selina said, "These guys are pansies. It's not like we're playing _Bludhaven_ or anything."

Bruce raised an eyebrow. He hadn't realized Selina kept up with high school stuff even that much. She'd told him stealing the mascot was just so _Bridgit_ would look cool, but he was starting to half-wonder whether Bridgit was _actually_ the only one who cared about school.

"You're right," Ivy agreed, sounding a little sad about it. "Anyway, we won't be able to see any of the good tackles."

"I'll come hang out with you outside the football practice on Tuesday. Now come _on_. I want to get away from these losers."

As far as Bruce could tell "these losers" was _everyone_ , because they kept climbing until the bleachers were a little emptier, and then Selina set off at a diagonal, leaving the stairs for the bleachers but continuing to climb as Ivy scrambled to keep up beside her. Ivy was never as coordinated as Selina, but none of them were about to let Selina leave them behind, either. Not even Alfred, who Bruce could hear grumbling faintly behind them about how Selina was gonna break somebody's neck. Or maybe about how he was going to break _Selina_ 's neck. Bruce was just a little too far ahead to tell.

Selina stopped at the back row of the bleachers, claiming a seat in the dead center of their section, where they had a good view of everyone in front of them and a fairly terrible view of the actual game. Ivy stood on the bench next to Selina, wrapping a hand through the chain link fence behind them and leaning forward to peer down at the game itself. Bridgit sat down on Selina's other side and wrapped her arms around her chest, pulling in on herself like she was cold.

Bruce wasn't quite sure what to do with himself, but Alfred was hovering at his elbow, now, tugging the front of his vest down pointedly like he wanted to draw attention to the fact that they hadn't lost him. After a moment, Bruce took a seat on the bench one down from the girls, twisting sideways with one foot in his foot space and one foot in theirs, carefully missing Selina's toes.

Alfred sat at the end of the top row, next to Bridgit, and Bruce suddenly figured out Selina's game. Here at the back, where things were mostly empty, Alfred actually couldn't keep them as pinned down. It was just as easy to go out the stairs on the side away from him as it was to go out the stairs on his side. And he couldn't get behind them to watch them if they were at the very back.

Bruce ducked his head down for a moment, hiding his smile until he could get it under control.

"So," he said, turning to the girls, "Is your team any good?"

Ivy grunted. "Sometimes they're alright. One of our outside linebackers is good. He hits like a truck."

"We've won about half our games so far," Bridgit supplied, somewhat more helpfully, "And a lot of kids think we're gonna have recruiters come next year when our wide receivers are older. Especially if Will keeps getting better - he's our quarterback, and he's only a sophomore."

Bruce nodded.

"Doesn't matter if we're good or not," Selina said dismissively, "It's _homecoming_. They always try to pick the week we're playing somebody lame for homecoming, so that way the team wins while everybody's around to party it up."

Bruce nodded. That made sense.

"Anyway," Selina said, "I hope we _cream_ 'em, so we can go home early. You know, when it's clear we're gonna win."

"You'll stay until the final buzzer, Miss Kyle. Detective Gordon's orders."

Selina glared. "Shows what _you_ know, Alfred. There _is_ no buzzer. The clock just runs out."

Alfred let that one go, which was almost surprising if you didn't count the fact that he'd had already beaten her once today purely because all of them were _here_.

"I hope we cream them anyway," Ivy said, "It's more fun that way."

For an entire quarter, nothing remarkable happened. They watched the game, nobody bothered them, they didn't talk about anything but what was happening, they cheered when their team scored, and Alfred watched all four of them like a hawk.

By five minutes into the second quarter, Bruce's butler was clearly getting restless. His foot was bobbing constantly up and down, shaking the bleachers enough that Bruce could feel it. He probably expected chaos to break out any moment. It was a fair concern. Bruce was waiting for the same thing.

Sitting down a row from the girls had seemed smart when Bruce expected them to be ignoring the game and plotting something - anything - to get back at Jim for making them come to it. Now, in the calm, he regretted it. He was dying to look at Selina, to see if he could read something in her face, but he couldn't without looking suspicious. Instead, he just tried to ignore the prickling on the back of his neck, hoping she'd make her move soon.

If she was trying to lull them into a false sense of security, it wasn't working. If she was trying to freak Alfred out by not doing anything, it definitely was.

It was Bridgit who finally broke their focus on the game. "I have to go to the bathroom," she said, "Anybody else wanna come?"

Bruce turned to look at Selina and Ivy, relieved not to have his back to Selina any more. Ivy was clearly still invested in the game and Selina actually looked like she wasn't going to move, either. She flicked her eyes sideways toward Brigit and then met his eyes again, and Bruce scrambled to his feet, catching her drift.

"I'll go with you if you want," he said, "I can wait for you outside."

"Hey, move, loser!" Selina said, swatting at his side, "I can't see!" He took a step sideways, out of her line of vision, and took it as confirmation that Selina wanted him to go along with her sister.

"Thanks, Bruce," Bridgit said, smiling, "I just don't like being in crowds by myself." He knew the feeling.

"Come straight back," Alfred ordered, "And keep your phone on, Master Bruce."

Bruce nodded, offering Bridgit a hand as she climbed over the bench in front of her to join him, and then following her to the stairs.

He didn't realize quite how tense he'd gotten until they were out of Alfred's hearing range and he could lean forward and ask, "So, what's Selina's plan, here? I _know_ she has one."

Bridgit rolled her eyes, but it was clearly affectionate. "I'll tell you when we get down near the bathrooms. We can't be overheard."

Bruce didn't bother hiding his grin when he realized that had probably been the plan to begin with. He and Bridgit were, as far as the adults in their lives were concerned, the "good kids" of their little group, and if Alfred was going to let any of them be unsupervised together, of _course_ it would be them.

Selina always thought of everything.

"Do you even have to _go_ to the bathroom?" he asked.

Bridgit laughed. "Yeah, actually. Convenient, huh? Selina always _says_ I'm an awful liar."

"I'm sure you're not that bad," he answered.

She rolled her eyes again. "I probably am, but that's alright. I don't think it's a bad thing to be a bad liar. Not now, anyway."

He shrugged, "Yeah, I guess not. Alfred says the same thing about me, but I'm getting better. When I need to."

Bridgit nodded, casting a glance over her shoulder toward where the others were sitting, even though they were getting far enough away that it was hard to see past the other people in the stands.

"I think we're clear. We're definitely not getting out of the school dance tomorrow, not after Jim and Lee signed up as chaperones and Lee took us dress shopping and everything, so Selina put some plans together to make the most of it. We've just gotta get Alfred to let us into the crowd at the concessions during halftime, and then we've gotta ditch him in the crowd until third quarter starts and people start heading back to the stands."

"Got it," Bruce confirmed. Bridgit was still looking over her shoulders periodically, and he hoped whatever the actual plan was, she'd be ready to talk about it soon.

They made it through the densest clump of people and into an open space in front of the bathrooms. She sighed in relief, tugging him over to stand next to a trash can. "Selina's got this whole scam in mind. She's gonna lift student IDs out of people's wallets, and then we're gonna sell them back outside the school tomorrow morning before the dance, 'cause people need 'em to get in. Any other time, they could just buy a replacement, but you can't _do_ that on a Saturday, so they'll have to follow the directions on the note she slips 'em."

He raised an eyebrow. "That's - I mean, it's brilliant, but I can't just help you guys fleece a bunch of kids."

Part of him almost thought he could. Part of him thought about the elegance of it, and the way Selina's eyes would twinkle getting her money out of all those unsuspecting marks, and thought he almost, almost could do it. But this wasn't stealing from criminals. It wasn't breaking into places where people could afford to lose a little anyway. And as soon as he thought about stealing money from a bunch of kids who had less than he did, he knew he never could.

"Don't worry," Bridgit said, "That's why _I_ volunteered to tell you instead of her doing it herself. How many $20 bills do you have? Or, like, how many could you _get_?"

He frowned. "I try not to carry cash around Selina, so -"

She laughed. "Don't worry, there's an ATM. I didn't think you'd have _that_ much cash on you. But Selina's charging $20 per ID, and I figured you and I have both been practicing, and if we can just lift the same wallets after she returns them, we can slip them $20 and _another_ note not to tell Selina - I already wrote the notes - and then nobody gets hurt and we're not in any more trouble than before."

"So basically, you want me to bankroll Selina's whole scam so you don't have to tell her you don't wanna steal from the other kids at school."

Bridgit looked down at the trash can, refusing to meet his eye. "I guess so, yeah. I just thought - I mean, she was _so_ mad that we had to do all this stuff, and you know how she gets, and I don't wanna have a terrible time at the dance just because Selina's trying to make a point, and -"

Bruce cut her off, laying a hand on her shoulder, "Yeah, I know. She'll make her point one way or another, so we might as well make sure she does it a way we're cool with. I'm in." She looked up at him, surprised.

"I want to have a good time at the dance, too," he continued, shrugging. "I mean, if I have to go anyway." He wasn't sure how hard he should be pretending not to want to go. Bridgit's sudden, brilliant smile made him wonder if he could have stopped pretending all together. But no. That was silly. When she said she didn't want to have a terrible time at the dance, she probably just meant it in the sense that she had to go anyway, and might as well make the best of it.

"It'll be a good chance to get some practice with wallets," he said, trying to cover, "I haven't done a lot of _returning_ them, yet, but it's a good skill to have." And as much as he didn't want to give Bridgit the wrong idea, blowing a couple hundred dollars on some scheme to keep Selina happy didn't feel that bad. He'd had Alfred spend as much on her outfit for the first charity function they went to together, back when they'd first met.

And if he'd let himself calculate the cost of actually taking Selina to the dance, with tickets and dinner and a limo that wasn't his and everything - a calculation he _hadn't_ made, because of _course_ he'd never wondered about that - he was pretty sure he could have made it come out about the same.

 

* * *

 

Alfred knew as soon as they'd gotten past the end of the bleachers that he shouldn't have let the girls talk him into buying them concessions. There were kids everywhere, absolute swarms of them, and he didn't have enough hands to keep one on everybody's shoulders. Not that he could have left them unattended in the stands, either. He just hadn't been prepared for this amount of chaos. Did _no one_ watch the band at halftime? He'd watched several American television shows that suggested at least _someone_ should be watching the band.

"Stay close, you lot!" he barked at them, "I won't have you disappearing on me."

Even as he said it, he knew he was fighting a losing battle. Bruce was enough of a handful on his own, and Selina always made things worse. If Ivy and Bridgit were planning anything, he was sunk.

For half a moment the other day, when Bruce was trying to pick out a tie for the school dance, he'd almost stopped wishing Bruce had never made friends with the Kyle girl. This was probably just what he got for going soft. He should have known better. Every time Selina threatened to be good for Bruce, she'd turn around and do something that proved she was a bad influence after all.

Ivy sidled up to him, and he was immediately on his guard. "Why would we disappear?" she asked, "You're getting _food_."

"Right," he confirmed, keeping his eyes on his own kids and steering through the rest of the crowd half on instinct. "A hot dog for you, and nachos for Miss Pike and - Oi!" he shouted, reaching out to snag the hood sticking out the back of Selina's jacket, "Stay close, I said!"

"Jeez, Alfred, it's like you don't _trust_ us," she joked. Something about it wasn't a joke, and he could feel the words raising the hair on the back of his neck.

"Not as far as I could throw you, Miss Kyle."

She tsked at him. "Oh, I doubt Jim would like that, Alfred."

"Let's not find out, then, eh? Stay close to me so I don't have to keep charging after you."

"Al _fred_ , you don't have to worry _all_ the time." Bruce was in on it. Whatever it was, he was in on it, and Alfred had a hand on Bruce's shoulder, just in case, before he realized - "Where's Miss Pike gotten to?"

Selina cursed colorfully, and with none of the usual spite. "I better go after her. You know how she feels about crowds!"

"No, Miss Kyle, you -"

Ivy grabbed his arm, pulling hard at his sleeve, "No, look, she's over there!" she said, pointing toward the outside edge of the crowd. Sure enough, Bridgit was just away from the crush around the concession windows, her arms wrapped around her chest again like she was nervous.

"Master Bruce," he said, turning back the other direction, "Why don't you -"

Selina was gone. She had a dark blue hoodie on under her usual jacket, and he hadn't realized how many other kids had blue hoods until her mop of dramatic curls wasn't visible anywhere in the crowd.

"I've got Bridgit, Alfred," Bruce said, "Don't worry." Something in his tone wasn't right, but he was already moving, and the line had moved in front of them, and Ivy was tugging at his sleeve again.

"Hey, we're still getting snacks, though, right? I don't have any money."

She was holding her weight a little funny, now, leaning out over one hip and pouting, and he was vaguely aware that she was trying to be seductive, messy hair and oversized sweater notwithstanding, but that was the least of his worries.

"Master Bruce!"

He heard Bruce's voice answer, "Just a second!" but his young master had been practicing the crowd disappearance for weeks, and even Alfred suddenly couldn't pick him out.

"Son of a -"

"The line's moving again. I can help carry stuff back to our seats, don't worry!"

That was not what he was worried about, but when the line moved, the accompanying tug from Ivy was stronger than he expected. He let her pull him forward again, and when he looked back at where Bridgit had been standing, she was gone too.

Ivy was grinning, which was always a little unnerving, and when she put on a big show of innocence and said "I'm sure they'll be back in the bleachers by the time the game starts," he wasn't sure charging after them was worth the fight. Not when they'd all gone off in different directions and Ivy was clearly playing from a script. He hated to think he'd lost a fight with that little girl  _again_ , but he knew enough to recognize when to throw in the towel and save his energy to fight with later.

He straightened his back. If he couldn't win this battle, he could at least keep his dignity long enough to pretend he didn't mind losing it. "Miss Pepper, I think you and I will have to eat all the concessions ourselves."

She giggled lightly, but when he only ordered two hot dogs and two Cokes, the giggle came back again a little more sinister.

"I wasn't joking, Miss," he said, trying to keep his voice light, "If they wanted snacks, they should have done as they were told."

He kept his eyes peeled as they wove back toward their seats, through the crowd, scanning the faces near them extra carefully any time Ivy's chatter got louder. He thought the girls were probably close by, partially because Ivy rarely talked this much, and partially because he knew Selina wouldn't pass up the opportunity to taunt him. He couldn't quite catch them.

Bruce wasn't so lucky. The advantage to having known Bruce since he was a babe in arms was that even with his recent training, Alfred knew how he moved. He snagged Bruce by the elbow nearly without looking, and the boy squawked, surprised. It was uncharacteristic, and Ivy giggled again.

"What do you think you're doing, Master B?"

Bruce looked around, then scooted closer to him, moving at the elbow first so that it would look like Alfred was tugging on him. Alfred forced his eyebrow to stay put instead of crooking up. "Just trust me," he said quietly, his eyes vaguely desperate.

Alfred looked into his young employer's eyes for a long moment and then, against his better judgment, he realized he _did_ still trust him to be trying to do the right thing, whatever that was at the moment. He let go and Bruce grinned brightly for a moment before vanishing back into the crowd. Alfred followed him with his eyes as he and Ivy kept walking, catching brief glimpses of Selina and Bridgit now that he knew what direction to look in. Bruce and Bridgit were looking at each other more than Bruce and Selina were, which suggested that whatever they were up to, he might have been right to trust his charge. Any conspiracy with Bridgit had to be better than a conspiracy with Selina.

Then again, the trouble they'd gotten into in the first place had at least nominally been for Bridgit, so maybe he'd made a mistake. Either way, it was too late now.

 

* * *

 

Ivy had never really been good with people, so it felt extra good to see Selina coming back to their spot with a huge grin, knowing she'd successfully played the distraction for her sister. She wanted to ask how many IDs Selina had made off with, but she knew she shouldn't in front of the butler.

Instead, she giggled as Selina climbed over Alfred like she hadn't even seen the man's glare, and then scooted down to give Selina a space between them. She was pleased to have been a successful distraction for Alfred, and she'd even sort of enjoyed eating hot dogs with him while they waited for the others to come back, but she still preferred having her sisters around as a buffer.

Selina bumped her with her shoulder as she sat down, and Ivy bumped back, a "you're welcome" to go with the "thank you."

Bridgit and Bruce came back about a minute and a half later, racing up the steps one right after the other and looking a little scared, though she wasn't sure quite of what. They'd been up to something, too, something different than what Selina was up to, but Ivy wasn't really worried about it. Selina seemed happy enough, and as long as no one was yelling or fighting, Ivy tried not to worry too much. The three therapists Jim and Lee had convinced her to try had all had different explanations for why she lashed out, but one of them had been worrying about things. Or something. 

She watched Bruce and Bridgit making their excuses with Alfred, trying to decide what she thought was real and what was an act. She wasn't much good at differentiating the two, not even with Selina, who she'd known longest, but having a whole complicated family was probably making her better at it.

It was definitely not true that Bruce and Bridgit had just gotten caught on the wrong side of the crowd and Bridgit had been freaking out. Bruce couldn't even think Alfred would believe that, since he'd caught him. But maybe Bruce thought Selina would believe he thought Alfred would believe that. The sheepish grin was probably even real. Maybe. She'd definitely seen it before, when they got caught doing something they weren't supposed to be doing.

Bridgit looked more nervous than Bruce, and when she sat on Ivy's other side this time, away from Selina, Ivy thought they might have done something Selina wouldn't be happy about. But maybe she could be a buffer, too, at least as long as the fight hadn't started yet. Bridgit snuggled up against her side, and usually Ivy would shrug her off when there was football going on in front of them and people could be getting tackled any minute, but instead she leaned back into her sister's side.

Sometimes it was funny when her new family was fighting. They fought funny, no hitting and a lot of words, and as much as she didn't like it when any of them were _too_ upset, Selina's pranks when she was actually mad were pretty good. But she was already mad at Jim about having to be here and go to the dance tomorrow, so probably any fight now wouldn't be one of the funny ones.

It was surprisingly hard to focus on the game, thinking about whether Selina would be mad, but then Bruce took a seat between Selina and Alfred, and a few minutes later, Selina was resting her head on his shoulder like usual, and Ivy could relax again, because at least Bridgit and Bruce had gotten away with their - whatever. She snuggled a little farther into Bridgit's side and turned her attention back to the game just in time to see their team get a crushing hit on the other team's running back. Bridgit jumped a little when she cheered, but when Selina laughed about it, they did too, focusing back on the game like they had at the start.


	3. The Dance

Bridgit had been on edge all day. There were too many variables at the start, too many things that could have gone wrong, but when Jim got called into the station for half the afternoon and Lee turned out to be perfectly willing to hole up in the bathroom with her and curl her hair, leaving Selina the time to go collect Bruce's money from the kids at school, it got easier to believe they could make it to the dance without Selina's con blowing up first and their dad changing his mind.

She'd never really wanted curls, and had only been convinced to tell Lee she did because Selina needed time, but Lee had been willing to try several things out with her, even when she changed her mind three times about exactly how much she was willing to cede her hair choices to her sister's timing needs. It had been weirdly soothing letting Lee do and redo her hair, and they had eventually settled on her hair half up and half down, held away from her face in braids but with the loose parts neatly curled and then hairsprayed half to death, because they both knew full well that her hair wasn't made to hold a curl.

With this much spray in her hair, she wouldn't have dared to keep her comfort lighter in her pocket even if her dress had _had_ pockets, but she had to admit that it looked good. She kept finding herself wandering into the bathroom to look at it in the mirror, even as Lee did Selina's makeup and both of them sniped at each other.

Bridgit had expected to feel more relieved when Selina showed back up with a fistful of cash and a grin. She'd thought that if she could just be sure she and Bruce got away with their swap without Selina finding out, she wouldn't have anything else to be nervous about, but the closer they got to when Bruce and Alfred were supposed to pick them up, the more her stomach ached thinking about the dance itself. On the one hand, it was a relief that they were going to get to go, but on the other hand, it meant they were about to  _go_.

She wiped her palms on the front of the couch again, not wanting to get sweat or anything else on the pretty yellow-and-orange chiffon of her prom dress. Hers was the flowiest of the three dresses, the top layers cut into interesting shapes that fluttered around her like flames when she walked. It was yellow at the top, with each layer of chiffon darkening in a gradual ombre until the bottom was a deep orange.

Jim was leaning against the windowsill in his suit so that Ivy couldn't climb up the fire escape onto the roof and get her dress dirty messing with her plants, but he caught her eye and smiled encouragingly when he caught her wiping her hands.

When they went shopping, Bridgit and Lee had caught each other's eyes as soon as Ivy drifted toward the dress. The pattern was beautiful, vines and leaves twining across the dress dramatically, but the base color was white, and they both knew it wasn't likely Ivy could keep it clean. It was at least a nice, traditional choice, a tea-length a-line with nothing but the pattern to spice it up, and she'd probably be able to move around in it without looking as awkward as she might have in something fancier, slinkier, or more complicated.

It had even looked good on her at the store, though nothing really looked good when you wore it with a scowl and a slouch. Ivy was pouting in the corner of the couch, and had only avoided flashing them all because of Lee's almost prescient insistence that she'd be more comfortable running around in the dress if she was wearing some shorts underneath.

Bridgit wiped her hands on the couch again and Jim spoke up this time. "You look beautiful, Bridge. You're gonna be fine."

Ivy snorted, which was rude, but Bridgit tried not to make too much of it.

"You look nice, too," Jim answered, glancing over at Ivy, "Brushing your hair suits you."

Now it was Bridgit's turn to snort.

"I brush my hair," Ivy muttered grumpily. She didn't, really, and they all knew it, but they let it slide when Selina came bursting out of the bathroom, her hair neater than usual and her makeup actually perfect, in spite of all the sniping she and Lee had done at each other while it was getting finished.

Selina was the only one who'd made a concentrated effort, when they were shopping for dresses, to look older than she was. Her dress was a form-fitting black-and-white number, sheer at the shoulders and around her knees, so that it looked shorter and more revealing from afar than it was up close. She was beautiful in it, the black band around her waist accentuating how thin she was and the white above it making her look light and airy. From a distance, you couldn't tell there were also speckles of gold, but up close, the yellow gave it a little extra drama, as if to make up for the fact that you could tell it had more coverage than it had seemed to.

The effect was almost but not quite ruined by the black combat boots she'd insisted on wearing with it as a final screw you to Jim for making her go to the dance. On anyone else, it would have looked worse, but Selina was Selina, and there was something dangerous in her eyes that let her carry it off, like you couldn't imagine her feet being in anything else, even though they'd all seen her in heels before for Bruce's charity functions.

Bridgit sat up again and forced herself to smile through the nerves. Selina would definitely tease her if she figured out she was nervous about something as silly as a school dance. "You look great, Selina!" she said, faking the excitement she was too nervous to feel.

Her sister smiled. "Yeah, well, if I'm gonna _go_ ," she said, shrugging like she didn't care even as her grin betrayed her.

Jim levered himself up off the window sill and went to kiss Lee. "Good job," he said, "Sorry I wasn't here to help you herd the cats earlier."

She laughed and kissed him back, like Bridgit wasn't even watching. Then she shoved Jim away. "Now _I_ have to get ready. I've got a new dress, too."

Jim didn't say anything back, but the expression on his face made Selina say "Eww, you guys are so gross," and Bridgit understood the feeling, for once.

Selina came around the couch and plopped down next to her, folding her arms over her chest. "So when's dumb Bruce coming with his dumb limo?"

Bridgit had called as soon as she was ready, just to get an idea of when to expect him. She didn't bother checking the cell phone she shared with her sisters, which was still on the coffee table. "He said he's ready when we are and we should let him know when we want him to come."

Selina grunted in the back of her throat, looking not much happier than Ivy. "Useless. What's he waiting around for?"

She thought about calling him, then went for a text instead, picking up the phone and flipping it open. " _We r ready_ ," she typed painstakingly, leaving out Selina's commentary. " _Xept Lee. R they going w us?_ "

There was a delay before he answered, and Bridgit could tell Selina was looking over her shoulder, waiting for the reply, even as she pretended not to care. Bridgit didn't quite smile, but now that everyone was ready, it had started to feel real. They were really going to the dance.

After a long pause, the phone buzzed again. " _We're coming. Alfred says all of you are coming in the limo with us."_

Selina snorted in her ear, and Bridgit found herself smiling in spite of her nerves. Bruce's cell phone was fancier than theirs, but texting on it was just as much of a pain in the ass, and he _still_ always wrote in full sentences.

Jim had gone back to his windowsill to wait, and his eyes kept flickering over to her, like he was still a little worried. Bridgit lifted her chin, trying to look like she was ready to go. No more hand-sweat wiping with Selina next to her. No more second guessing. Bruce and Alfred were on their way. There was no turning back.

Bridgit tucked the cell phone into her light yellow silk purse, bought on a second shopping trip with Lee. They'd managed dresses even with Selina whining and being stubborn and Ivy nearly freaking out around all those people at the mall, but accessory shopping had been just the two of them, and a lot more fun. She tried to remind herself that even if the dance wasn't everything she'd hoped for, at least getting ready for it had been fun. She'd liked trying on shoes and comparing purses to her polaroid of her dress to make sure the colors would be good and helping Lee pick out a new dress of her own. She'd liked a few hours of having Lee all to herself, sharing a pretzel and then grabbing a giant cinnamon roll before they left. The dance didn't have to be perfect.

When the doorbell rang, she jumped, startled even though she'd known Bruce was coming. She should have expected him to walk up the stairs instead of texting them from the car, because he was a gentleman like that, and she suspected, without looking to check, that Selina was probably smirking at her, but she shrugged it off.

After a moment, Selina slouched further into the couch instead of getting up, making a point as she glared at Jim. Jim raised an eyebrow back at her, but Bridgit couldn't stand just sitting here now that it was time to go. The whole thing had felt so intimidating since she'd realized Selina was home and there was nothing else in the way of the dance, and it wasn't getting less intimidating as she sat here. She got up to answer the door, stepping over Selina's legs.

"Thanks, Bridge," Jim said, as she broke his stare-off with Selina, "I'll go check and see if Lee is-"

Bridgit smirked as he suddenly cut off with a soft sound of surprise. Lee's dress was a little more understated than some of the ones she'd worn before, since it  _was,_ after all, going to a school dance, but she still looked great in it.

Bruce had his finger near the doorbell when Bridgit opened it. "Sorry," she said, suddenly finding herself blushing. He was wearing a black suit with a dark grey shirt and a light yellow tie, and his other hand was tucked casually into his pocket. For a moment, she could see what Selina saw in him. Usually she looked at Bruce and saw their goofy best friend, halfway filed in her head as "Selina's Bruce," but in that first instant, it all made sense.

Then he reached back with his free hand to run it through his hair and he looked like the same goofy Bruce again, and the moment was over. "You look nice," he said loudly, following it up with a whispered, "How mad is she?"

"You too," Bridgit answered loudly, stepping back to let him in. As he passed her, she whispered, "She didn't catch us." She didn't have time to say it had been close, because Scott Carson had apparently made some kind of veiled comment about Selina's "rich boyfriend" making her think she could get away with anything, but he hadn't told her everything, and she hadn't figured out what he meant. So they'd still gotten away with it. She was pretty sure they'd gotten away with it.

Bruce turned over his shoulder with a brilliant grin, and she felt better about the whole thing. She might not have been able to feel relieved about that, with the dance looming, but she could tell he did, and he probably wasn't going to blow it being weird around Selina.

 

Selina got to her feet as Bruce actually entered the apartment, pulling herself up into a perfect posture and lifting her chin haughtily, like she'd never been pouting at all.

Bruce looked like he'd been struck. "You look beautiful," he said.

"I know."

Bridgit wished she could be that cool.

Jim glanced at his watch. "We should get going. We have to be there early, since we're chaperoning. Make sure nobody spikes the punch."

Selina opened her mouth, but Jim cut her off. "No spiking the punch. Lee, did you pat her down yet?"

Lee rolled her eyes affectionately at him. "Yes, dear. I patted down our children."

They could all tell he wanted to ask again if she really had, but apparently he'd thought better of it, because instead he just turned back to Selina. "I'll be watching you," he warned, like they hadn't already known that already.

Bruce, ever the gentleman, cut through the awkwardness for them. "We should probably go. Alfred's waiting downstairs."

"Yeah," Jim agreed, "We're running late anyway." He moved around the couch to haul Ivy out of her corner. She came without much trouble, keeping ahold of his hand so she'd have something to lean on as she pulled her shoes on, a pair of green ballet flats Bridgit and Lee had picked out without her.

Bridgit felt nervous again, but there was nothing to wipe her hands on, so she took stock of the room instead. Selina was ready, standing a little stiffly away from Bruce while he watched her, looking a little out of his depth. Ivy was getting her shoes on, Jim and Lee looked great - and her purse was still on the table.

She went over to get it, nudging Selina subtly toward Bruce as she shoved past her sister to get to the table. She'd liked thinking about what it would be like to go to a school dance with a boy and slow dance and chat with her friends, and at least one of them should get that, even if it _was_ Selina instead of her. The prickle on the back of her neck that always seemed to arise when Selina was glaring at her suggested that her sister might not feel the same way. She ignored it, grabbing her purse and checking to make sure the cell phone was still inside.

"Wait, wait," Lee said, "Pictures. While we're inside, where it's light."

Jim looked at his watch again, "We'll have to take them in the gym. There's supposed to be a photo area."

Lee looked them over again, and after a moment, she said, "Alright. We'll see if we can get fewer scowls once we get there."

"Fat chance," Selina muttered, just loudly enough for Bridgit and Bruce to hear. Bruce snorted fondly, and Bridgit dared to hope for romance again. And who knew? Maybe once she got there, one of the boys from school would talk to her, too. She _did_ look nice.

When Bruce offered Selina his arm, she took it stiffly, but then walked alongside him like she hadn't been mad at all.

They went out the door first, Bridgit just watching for a moment until Jim came up behind her and Ivy to steer them out the door. "Come on, girls. If you really have a bad time, Alfred can take you home early. But I think you'll have fun."

Bridgit smiled at him a little weakly and he bowed with a melodramatic flourish, offering her his arm.

She snorted, but she'd be lying if she didn't admit it made her feel a little better to take his arm like she was some kind of fine lady. She and Jim followed Selina and Bruce, leaving Lee and Ivy to follow along behind. At the door, she looked back to see Lee shepherding Ivy along with a hand on her shoulder and then turned forward again, taking a deep breath to steady herself.

The stairs were tough to navigate in her heels, since she wasn't used to wearing them. She was glad she had Jim's arm to lean on all the way down. She got a little steadier after the first flight, but it was still all she could focus on until they were suddenly at the bottom of the steps, standing in front of a large limousine.

Alfred looked crisp and perfect in his full chauffeur's uniform, just like something out of a movie. She was more used to him being dressed like a butler, but she still knew him well enough to notice he was subtly watching the doorway. Selina looked a little impatient, but Bruce was grinning brightly now that they were out in the open air and Selina's arm was still linked through his.

As Lee and Ivy came through the door behind them, Alfred suddenly bowed, opening the door with a flourish. "Master Wayne? Miss Kyle?"

Selina smirked as Bruce helped her into the car. Then he held his hand out toward Bridgit, surprising her. Jim suddenly let go of her arm, and she found herself momentarily frozen, but then Alfred adjusted on the fly, giving her a nod. "Miss Pike?"

She wasn't sure if Bruce noticed her sweaty palms as he helped her and then Ivy into the car, but if he did he didn't say anything, and once the three of them were crowded too close together on one of the limo's long seats, Bridgit's floofy dress making her feel both cushioned and crowded, it was hard to dwell on it.

Bruce clambered in to sit across from them, grinning at Selina and leaving plenty of room for Lee and Jim.

The door almost hit Jim's hand as it closed, because he'd been reaching to do it himself when Alfred shut it, and Selina snorted in her corner.

"I've never been in a limo before," Ivy commented, sliding to the window now that they knew they had room and twisting around to watch Alfred out the window until she couldn't see him anymore. "It's different than I thought."

Selina scoffed. "What did you think? That it would be made out of gold or something?"

Ivy cocked her head sideways. "I don't know. It's nice."

Once Ivy was visibly gaping at their surroundings, Bridgit felt like she could do the same. The inside of the limo was nice, all leather seats and lush-for-a-car carpeting.

"Oh, there's a window in the ceiling," Ivy said.

"No," Jim answered, looking directly at Selina.

Her eyes flashed, but while she was locking eyes with Jim, Bruce shifted subtly to hide the window controls with his elbow.

As soon as Selina opened her mouth, Lee's eyebrow shot up. The limo wasn't so big they couldn't see it clear as day. Selina cleared her throat. "We're _definitely_ using the window on the way home," she said pettily.

When Jim didn't immediately repeat the "no," Bruce said, "It _is_ kind of traditional for teenagers going home from dances. I think more traditional for prom, though."

" _Limos_ are more traditional for prom," Selina shot back, "Not that you'd know, rich boy."

And just like that, another argument was over and this... this might be ok. Bridgit leaned farther back into her seat, trying to focus on the things that were already good, and not all the unknowns they were driving toward.

 

* * *

 

Lee had wondered, when Jim first came home and told her the details of this punishment- _cum_ -social-activity, if he'd really thought through the consequences of both volunteering them as chaperones and forbidding the girls from going out to dinner before the dance. Now that they were here, standing around awkwardly with the teachers and a handful of other parents while the girls and Bruce stood awkwardly in a different part of the gym, hovering between several tables and waiting for the other kids to arrive, it was patently obvious that he hadn't.

He at least had the grace to look a little embarrassed about it. Both the light blush on his cheeks and the way his hand kept drifting to the back of his neck telegraphed his embarrassment pretty clearly. She leaned up to kiss his cheek. "At least we know you're good at punishments," she said lightly.

"Should we get them to take more pictures?" he asked.

"They'll be fine," she answered, "It's just five more minutes. And surely some of the go-getter kids will be here early."

Pictures had been a good idea 20 minutes ago, when they'd gotten here and sent the kids to stand in a corner while the chaperones got their instructions, and they'd been a good idea 10 minutes ago, when they'd clearly started to extend the normal picture taking just to fill time, but once they'd taken multiple shots of every reasonable combination of their weird little family, it had stopped being a good idea.

When the first group of kids walked in and the DJ started up, Jim looked just as relieved as their children did, maybe more.

Lee studied the newcomers from her spot by the empty dance floor. There were 6 of them, a fairly boisterous group only given away as nerds by the way the girls rocked awkwardly on their heels, as unaccustomed to them as Bridgit was, and by one boy's double helix tie. They seemed nonthreatening, and sure enough, they hovered around a second table awkwardly, making her own kids look, if not less lonely, at least less weird.

The real flood started a couple of minutes later, and then there were too many kids coming in at once for Lee to keep track.

Once the dancing started in earnest, it was clear why Lee had been stationed by the dance floor. She wasn't actually sure she minded the kids grinding up on each other - you were only young once - but school functions were school functions, and she did her part, telling kids off periodically until things calmed down a little.

If she'd cared more, floor duty would have given her enough to do all night without watching for her girls, but as it was, she caught sight of them plenty. They stuck close together at first, clumping at the edge of the dance floor and looking awkward and out of place, but then Selina got it into her head to cause trouble, something she'd learned to recognize from afar. For a moment, she thought Bruce might try to stop her, but then all of a sudden his whole posture changed, like he'd seen something or someone he hadn't expected. Then he was going along with it. Interesting. Lee shifted her position slightly to keep an eye on Selina and Bruce, wishing she could both watch them and look for whatever Bruce had seen, but with the crowd of kids between them, it was out of the question.

Selina had grabbed Bruce's hand and was dragging him behind her toward the tables, looking for all the world like two giggly kids trying to find an out-of-the-way corner to make out in. Lee, on the other hand, could guess that Selina was slipping a hand into a pocket every time she bumped up against a chair with a jacket across the back.

Jim was closer to them, so Lee tried to catch his eye, but he just winked at her like she was flirting. She rolled her eyes at him, but he either couldn't see that from here, or he didn't react.

He _did_ catch Selina before she could actually spike the punch bowl, even without the warning she'd been trying to give him, and Lee almost missed Ivy appearing at her elbow as she smiled over at him. "Bridgit's talking to a _boy_ ," Ivy hissed.

Lee raised an eyebrow, turning to look. Sure enough, Bridgit was standing at the edge of the dance floor next to a boy with thick glasses and messy blonde hair. "Who is he?" she asked Ivy.

"Max," she answered grumpily, "He's in her math class. She goes to _math_ class."

"You're _all_ supposed to go to math class," Lee said absently, still watching Bridgit with the boy. She'd seen the mildly jealous looks Bridgit had been sending Selina and Bruce, out of character for her, usually, but if she'd been hoping to dance with a boy, she certainly wasn't making the most of the opportunity. She looked almost painfully awkward, and Lee made a mental note to work on flirting with her. Apparently, Selina hadn't.

"You could talk to a boy, too, if you wanted," Lee said, turning toward Ivy, "I can give you some advice."

Ivy wrinkled her nose in disgust. "Boys are gross. I like plants."

Bridgit's boy said something funny, and she laughed. Maybe things would work out anyway, game or no game.

A quick glance at Jim proved he was watching Selina pretty intently at the moment, so Lee turned her attention to Ivy instead. "Ok," she suggested, "So why don't you go talk to a girl? See if you can make a new friend?"

Ivy looked at her like she was an idiot. " _Talk_ to a _girl_? That's harder than talking to a boy!"

Lee smiled encouragingly. "But you talk to girls all the time! Selina, Bridgit and I are girls."

Ivy glared. "That's  _different_."

She didn't specify how, but Lee could guess. They were family, now. "Ok," she said calmly, "So we won't try for that either. But you can't let the other kids think you're hanging out with your mom at a school dance, either. Do you think you could join one of the circles people are dancing in? Maybe if there are some kids you've talked to in class?"

Ivy's eyes narrowed, but then she relaxed instead of making an argument of it. "I don't know how to dance," she admitted.

Well, that... that was a problem Lee could fix. She grinned, taking a glance over her shoulder to make sure no one important was watching. "I'm pretty sure I'm allowed to have a bathroom break," she said, "Meet me outside in the hallway."

Ivy nodded, that grin spreading across her face that always meant she sensed trouble. Lee could suddenly see the appeal of dragging her into things, like Selina always did.

While Ivy ducked out, Lee checked on the others one more time. Bridgit was still talking to the boy and seemed to be alright, Selina and Bruce were dancing together in the middle of the floor (Selina better than Bruce), and Jim was still solidly entrenched behind the refreshment table, alternately pouring punch and watching for trouble. After a few seconds of intense staring, she caught his eye and gestured toward the door so he'd know where she was. Then she found another chaperone to cover the floor and slipped out into the hallway.

The music was loud enough that they could at least hear the beat out here, and Lee started with the two of them just moving to the music, keeping time together until she was sure Ivy had an ear for it. Then, just as she was about to start showing Ivy some actual moves, Bruce Wayne burst through the door behind them, shoving another kid backward with his arm against his throat, until they hit the wall and the other kid shoved back.

"Bruce?" Ivy never did know how to stay out of other people's messes, but this time, Lee was glad for the way in.

Bruce looked up at them, surprised and guilty, and let go of the other kid, stepping back quickly.

"Whoa," Lee said, trying not to come down too hard, so that they didn't close off on her, "What's going on here?"

"This rich asshole thinks he can just pay for the shit his klepto girlfriend stole and nobody will be mad about it," the kid said belligerently.

Ivy cackled behind her, which never helped in situations like this. The boy scowled at her.

"Like you're any better, freak!"

Lee stepped forward. "The name calling is not necessary. What did Selina take?"

Bruce answered first, "Ms. Thompkins, I know I should have told Alfred, but-"

No. Bruce's charm and politeness might work on Jim sometimes, but she wasn't about to let him off the hook.

" _What did Selina take?"_ she repeated, more crisply this time.

"My student ID!" the other boy answered as Bruce stared at her, "Right out of my wallet!"

"I can explain," Bruce said, "She was just mad we had to go to the game and the dance, so she was gonna scam people out of money by holding their IDs hostage, but then -" he paused, just for a split second, and she could tell he was leaving something out, "I slipped $20 back into the wallets she'd raided so everybody came out even. She doesn't know." 

Lee was both touched and angry, which was a pretty common blend of feelings when she was dealing with the girls. "You mean you _also_ lifted a bunch of wallets?"

"I'm pretty sure it's not a crime if you're putting money _in_." Bruce said.

That wasn't a fight she wanted to fight. "And where is Selina right now?"

"She's in the restroom," Bruce answered, "Most people didn't seem upset, but I could tell _he_ was-" he gestured at the other boy, "So I took the chance to, umm, talk about it."

Lee thought fast. They _definitely_ needed to be in trouble for this, but for the second time this week, they actually hadn't done any real harm, in the end. She could deal with this now, or she could deal with it later when she'd had a chance to think through it all, and after they'd made it through the dance without Bridgit or Ivy's nights getting ruined. (Delaying would also mean Selina couldn't escalate the situation by coming out of the bathroom to find them all in the middle of talking about it, but Lee wasn't sure she wanted to admit she was accounting for that.)

"We'll talk about your _talking_ skills later," she said after a moment, "But for now, it's probably better that Selina and Jim not find out about this."

The other kid squawked. "You mean-"

"I mean I'll deal with Selina later, and she'll be in trouble, but right now, you should probably not pick fights at the school dance. Especially not with girls who could kick your ass."

"You're not even-" the kid started again.

"Her mom? I'm close enough."

He deflated, muttering, "This is bullshit," but then he slouched back into the dance, and Lee snagged Bruce's elbow to keep him from following.

"I know there's something you're not telling me," she said, "But I'm sure Alfred will get it out of you eventually, and I can wait. I'm letting this slide because I want the other girls to have a good time tonight, but you can't encourage her like that, or next time I won't play nice. Got it?"

Bruce nodded seriously, showing off his perpetually strong poker face, and she half wondered whether she was making a mistake, but then Ivy made an impatient noise behind her and she reminded herself that she should be focusing on _why_ she'd let him off. She didn't want to squander this chance to get her girls through a social event successfully. Jim could say what he wanted about punishments, but they both knew they also wanted to encourage anything that seemed like healthy teenage behavior, and while they were here, she wanted to make it count.

"Right," she said, refocusing on Ivy and trying not to worry too much about the rest of them, "Dancing lessons."

 

* * *

 

 

Jim had forgotten about the post-dance cleanup when he'd told Alfred he and Lee would ride in the limo with the kids, but when Bruce and the girls hunkered down at one of the tables while everyone else was leaving, he decided not to worry about it.

Even with the floor strewn with wadded napkins and plastic punch cups, the gym looked pretty magical. The streamers and balloons and Christmas lights could stay up for now, as long as all the chairs and tables got put away. They also weren't doing anything about the shimmery confetti that had started the night neatly around the centerpieces on the tables, but made its way gradually onto the floor as kids threw it at each other, got it stuck to the bottom of cups and plates, and trailed it along with them after they stepped or sat in it.

The DJ was starting to pack up his stuff, but he'd left a playlist going without his attention, and when a slow song came on, Lee grabbed his hand and pulled him away from the leftover cookies he was packing up. He followed her onto the dance floor and pulled her close, closing his eyes for a moment to just hold her and listen to the music.

Selina and Bridgit had both gotten slow dances, and he'd watched them, feeling a fond nostalgia. He remembered his first Junior High slow dance, standing awkwardly at arms-length from his partner like Bridgit had tonight, and he remembered his first slow dance holding a girl close, probably looking as gobsmacked as Bruce had when Selina cozied up to him tonight.

This was better, even with Lee's heels giving her a little height on him. Even with the floor sticky under them from spilled punch. Even with Selina shouting tiredly that they were gross. Lee laughed, tucking her head down to lean her forehead against his so Selina couldn't see her grin. He leaned up and kissed her, taking his chance while he had it. She kissed him back, and Selina's heckling got louder.

This time, Lee's laughter broke the kiss up, but he couldn't mind much when she followed it up with a second peck on his lips, like some kind of apology.

"We should probably be cleaning up," he said.

"You were a nerd in high school, weren't you?"

He shook his head, chuckling, "Only if you call the school mascot a nerd."

Lee's laughter felt good even when it was at his own expense. "Were you really? The girls can never know."

When one of the other parents whistled jokingly at them, they finally broke up the dance and went back to cleaning up, casting fond glances over at their table of children as they moved off into their own parts of the gym again.

Selina was half asleep in Bruce's lap, tipping her head back against his shoulder, Bridgit was leaning heavily onto the table, and Ivy had curled up on the floor underneath it, her green shoes sticking out the side of the tablecloth a little bit like the Wicked Witch of the West under Dorothy's house. So much for keeping that white dress clean, but at least she'd made it to the dance looking tidy.

He finished packing up the remainder of the snacks and then called Alfred to let him know the dance was over and they hoped to be done cleaning up soon. 

When the butler showed up, Bridgit was asleep too, and one of the teachers took one look over at the table of exhausted kids and told them they should go.

Bruce and Selina got up reluctantly, Selina shaking Bridgit awake, but before they could wake Ivy up, Jim shook his head. "Grab the table." Bridgit looked confused, but Selina followed right away, and when she started tugging the table sideways to uncover Ivy, Bruce and Alfred moved quickly to help.

Carrying Ivy wasn't always - or even often - a good idea, but waking her up unexpectedly in public wasn't exactly ideal, either. A year ago, he'd have rolled the dice on Selina waking her up, but now, if she was sleeping without nightmares, he might as well try to keep letting her do it.

"She's too big for that," Lee whispered, and she was probably right, but it was only out to the car. Alfred raised an eyebrow, but didn't say anything.

"Let's just go," Jim whispered back.

Getting out of the school and into the limo with Ivy in his arms was awkward and his arms were a little shaky by the end, but once they were in the limo again and she was tucked up against the window, he was glad he'd let her sleep.

Bridgit took the corner across from her, curling straight up against the window, too, but Selina and Bruce were more alert from the walk over here, and the minute the door was closed, Selina turned to him with her biggest puppy-dog eyes. She reached over Bridgit with one hand, her fingers hovering over a set of buttons beside the window, and he suddenly remembered what she'd said on the car ride over.

He looked over at Lee out of the corner of his eye and she nodded. He sighed, rolling his eyes. "Fine," he said "Open the skylight."

Selina was up on her feet faster than he would have thought possible this late at night. Bruce opened the skylight for her and then climbed up to get his head out of it beside her.

Lee reached over and wove her fingers through his. He sighed again, this time in contentment and - yes - exhaustion. Then he reached forward and patted Bridgit on the knee, waking her up again. "Bridge, did you want to look out the window?"

She sat up, looking through the window next to her. "What? 'M looking!"

Lee curled up against him, hiding a laugh in his shoulder. "It's ok," he answered, "Go back to sleep."

She settled back against the window, closing her eyes again. "Mm-hmm."

"Did you have a good time at the dance?"

"Mm-hmm."

Jim thought, for a brief moment, that he probably shouldn't have asked that, since he was supposed to be mad at all four of them, but Bridgit wasn't likely to remember, she was so tired, and Selina and Bruce were whooping too loudly out the roof to have heard, and it was probably ok to stop pretending. He settled back into his seat, wrapping a hand around Lee's knee affectionately. A glance at Ivy in the seat beside him proved she was still asleep, and Bridgit's soft snores as she fell asleep, too, made him feel a familiar fondness he never would have expected a year and a half ago.

Lee turned his head gently to the side, claiming his lips with a kiss, and he decided there wasn't a worry in the world worth ruining this moment for. When the limo stopped, this would really be over, and he'd really be back in their normal, messy life, but for right now, he had three happy kids and a girlfriend he adored, and for right now, it wasn't hard at all to let that be enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Selina's is the only dress based on an actual dress. It's this one: https://hdqwalls.com/download/camren-bicondova-2018-mp-2160x3840.jpg  
> But with boots instead of heels, because Camren likes being glam and Selina likes being petty.
> 
> I'm not writing another chapter, but after they get the full story (possibly without ever learning Bridgit was involved) Selina will be grounded for a week. Jim's in too good of spirits to come up with anything more creative.


End file.
